Published first by Pine Row Press
All Tilly Koffmann wants to do
Is be boss of the swimming pool
Goggles on, nose plugs in place
I’m hoping she won’t see my face
Despite my guise, there’s no such luck
She’s seen me, oh ballzshit’n’fuck
Her voice cuts through the chlorine smell
You’re late again, I hear her yell
She’s there to greet, she’s there to scold
To direct swimmers young and old
Her cap is white, her togs are brown
Half bowling pin from ribs to crown
I’m almost at the water’s edge
My toes reach for the tiled ledge
The neon blue looks so divine
The water calls, I’m pressed for time
Yoo hoo she calls, I have to stop
Her buoyant boobs bob on top
Come here, she says, my knees must bend
She whispers, like I’m her best friend
Behind her hand she points toward
A flower-cap kicking with a board
That one, she sniffs, she takes all day
I wish she’d get out of the way
And him the sloppy backwards stroke
Someday he’s going to punch some bloke
That one, baldie with the crawl
He’s the most annoying of all
His pace uneven, now fast now slow
I never know which way he’ll go
And you, before you hit your stride
I’ve some advice to grease the ride
Keep those eyes above the line
Your arms in front, your legs behind
Propel those limbs and push on through
I know you’ve got more fire in you
She likes to sort the likes of me
Tilly has no kids you see
We’re goslings to her Mother Goose
She’s locomotive and caboose
She’s had the heat turned up a notch
Queen Guardian Angel Water Watch
The water’s warm, no shock at all
I persevere, break through the wall
You did it! And I have to smile
She’s right. I finally made that mile
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